Beautiful, Bold and Bald

Beauty Is Her Name

     Recently I had the pleasure of spending time with a woman who is beautiful, inside and out.  She's a Poet, Author, Mentor, Advocate and Educator.  Awilda Gonzalez Reyes is singing her own tune and boldly letting the world hear her voice about something that is dear to her heart and a part of who  she is.  Let's begin with Awilda's journey as I ask her about life and Alopecia.

CSW: Awilda, I'm glad that you're here and taking the time to share your journey with us today.

AGR:  I'm happy to be here and hoping to enlighten people about Alopecia.

CSW:  Let's jump in.  For people who aren't familiar with Alopecia, please explain to us what it is.

AGR:  Alopecia literally means hair loss and is the universal term used for people who experience hair loss.  When a person is diagnosed with the auto immune disorder, Alopecia Areata, hair falls out in round patches on the scalp or other areas of their body.  Alopecia Areata can cause different types of hair loss other than the round patches, such as Alopecia Totalis which is hair loss on the scalp and Alopecia Universalis, which is the loss of all body hair.

CSW:  Thanks for explaining the different types of hair loss.  How does it affect hair follicles?

AGR:  In some cases, even when the disease is active, the hair follicles remain alive and that means your hair can grow back.  And even if it's been a long period of time or there's more than 50 percent hair loss, the hair can grow back again.

CSW:  What was your reaction, when you were diagnosed?

AGR:  I spent many years without an official diagnosis from a dermatologist because there really wasn't much that could be done.  I had to do a lot of research for myself and for years I tried different things like injections on my scalp and spending hundreds of dollars on products that promised to make my hair grow back.  Sometimes my hair would grow back and then eventually fall out again.  The first time I went bald, I was devastated.  I was scared and so confused.  I was literally lost.

CSW:  I can't imagine and I already know what you're saying will help someone.

AGR:  I felt like I had lost my identity because hair is a big thing for women.  I felt exposed and extremely vulnerable.

CSW:  That's deep and a lot of emphasis is put on hair and a women's identity.  What were your thoughts or feelings about hair when you were growing up?

AGR:  Growing up in the Latino community, hair has always been emphasized.  Many times, I heard that it's my crowning glory.  I was also made to feel that because my hair was curly, I had "bad" hair, and then I when I didn't have any hair, I was made to feel that I had to hide not having hair.

CSW:  I think it's universal in cultures that we hear about hair texture being "bad" or "good" and I wish we could teach our girls that all hair is beautiful and unique.  No good or bad hair.

AGR:  We're taught from generation to generation and the dialogue about hair is beginning to change.

CSW:  It is and that's positive.  Is there a reason why someone develops Alopecia?

AGR:  There really isn't a reason why or what triggers the immune system to attack hair follicles or even if the triggers first happen inside the body like from bacteria or a virus, or outside the body like from something in your surroundings, or a combination of both.

CSW:  What happened when you first discovered hair loss?

AGR:  When I first lost my hair, I bought into all these culturally and society's imposed thoughts.  It took years of decolonizing beliefs about beauty, then I realized that it was all insanity.  Women are fed these lies from a very young age and we grow up to be women who believe that our outward appearance is more important than our inward spirits.

CSW:  You're spot on about that.

AGR:  Everywhere we look, we see commercials with women who have long, flowing hair, straight hair or beach waves.  Magazines and television, show us the same things.  And the hair product industry makes billions of dollars because we are always trying to alternate our current look.  As I have navigated through the stages of Alopecia, I've learned to embrace who I am in all stages, whether it be with patches, bald, or a funky cut or headscarf.

CSW:  Good for you.  So many women need to get to hear that.

AGR:  I'm happy to be in this head space and I know I have the option to wear a wig if I choose, and I did for a little bit, but it just didn't feel like me.  I've made the conscious effort not to wear a wig and to rock my head bald or however I choose that day. I made the choice because my desire is if other women see me and they're hiding that they have Alopecia, that they may feel empowered  to be free, or however they choose  to show up.

CSW:  That's great stuff.  Are there any other signs or symptoms besides hair loss?

AGR:  Everyone is different.  I've heard some people experience itchiness right before their hair begins to fall.  Some experience high levels of stress or some have even felt  a burning sensation.  Personally, when I first noticed my hair loss, I didn't feel anything.  A patch just showed up and with time it became larger.  Many experience other symptoms due to other auto immune diseases but specifically tied to Alopecia, I would say no.

CSW:  What advice would you give to someone who has been diagnosed?

AGR:  Surround yourself with people who love and support you.  Talk about how you feel with either  a friend, partner or therapist.  Do something everyday that makes them feel beautiful.  It can be buying a new hat, scarf, experimenting with makeup and accessories and taking  lots of pictures to begin embracing your new look.

CSW:  Let me add that you look fabulous.

AGR:  Thank you (smiles).  Most of all, look for other people who have Alopecia.  There are so many support groups, like Facebook groups and Instagram pages of people that have Alopecia.  I'd tell them they're not alone and don't be afraid to reach out to the groups and ask questions.

CSW:  That's awesome advice.  Is there a cure or how is it managed?

AGR:  There really is no cure.  Depending on the type, in some cases the hair can come back or not. Alopecia is unpredictable!  In regards to managing it, there is no specific way.  It really depends on a case by case basis.  Some people change their diet and it gets better and some spend hundreds or thousands on products and gimmicks, and the hair never comes back.

CSW:  Thanks for giving us insight.  Tell me what or who motivates you?

AGR:  My motivation comes from myself  and my desire to change society's views on beauty, specifically in the Latino Community.   My motivation also comes from my daughters.  I want them to know that no matter how they look, they are valuable and smart  before being beautiful.  

CSW:  That's a great message for our girls and women in general.

AGR:  What also motivates me is seeing more and more women embrace their baldness.  Representation is important and it empowers others not to be afraid to embrace their beautiful bald heads.

CSW:  That's wonderful and empowering for lots of people.  I'll shift gears for a minute.  Give me the first words, that come to mind when I say, our youth.

AGR:  Our youth have a bright future as we continue to educate, mentor and empower them.

CSW:  Favorite type of summer.

AGR:  My favorite summer is when it's a nice sunny day at 80 degrees and no humidity.

CSW:  That's my favorite too.  Love.

AGR:  Love is beautiful when we allow ourselves to be loved just as we are in all our vulnerability.  Love is food for our souls and when we are loved well, we give love to the world.

CSW:  Very nice.  Love can go along way when it's given and received.  Can you share with our readers, your life, living with Alopecia?

AWR:  Wow, that's a loaded question because at first my life with Alopecia  was like a roller-coaster.  One minute I was ok and the next, I was extremely depressed.  I think with time, I've become more bold and confident because I don't have and I no longer hide behind my long curls.  Now the world just sees me in all my beautiful baldness.  At work it's been an interesting journey.  It's not everyday that people see a bald woman, so I get stares or the assumption that I have cancer.  I've had to be open about my Alopecia because I never want anyone to assume I can't function professionally because of an illness.  In my everyday personal life, I've learned to ignore the stares and looks.  The one area, I have yet to figure out is the dating life.  I'm single and frankly speaking, it's going to take a woke man, to see that my beauty is more than just the outside.  Men tend to admire or be attracted to women who have long, flowing hair.  I do get a lot of compliments, but I feel it's more of the "yes she's beautiful and she looks interesting," but not beautiful enough to date.  However I know my partner is out there somewhere and when it's the right person, I'll know.

CSW:  That special person will come along.  It's all about timing.  Earlier you mention support groups people can engage in.  What are some of the support groups you're involved with?

AWR:  Currently, I'm a part of a Chicago Alopecian Group that gets together often, as well as online groups like, "The Baldie Movement."  There is also the National Alopecian Areata Foundation, which has various chapters around the world.

CSW:  Awilda, thanks so much for the information and it's been a joy talking with you.  You've shed some great light upon us today and I appreciate you for sharing your truth with us.

AWR:  It's been a pleasure and I'm happy that I was able to spread the word  about Alopecia and that my journey will help others.

CSW:  Definitely and you'll continue to help many.  One last thing.  Can you describe in four words, your journey?

AWR:  Always learning, always evolving.

CSW:  That's beautiful.  Continued peace and joy.  You can follow Awilda Gonzalez Reyes on Instagram @awicentrica.